Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
