just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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