brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize