I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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