so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
