he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
