you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
