If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Randomize
