with your own penis?
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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