I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
