Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
