I don't think we should have started that trash fire
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
