U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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