Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I am naked and annoyed.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize