the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I will pee on everything he values.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
