This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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