yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize