Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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