Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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