you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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