Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
There r osticjed everywhere
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Randomize