I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
