Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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