he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
