I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
She's the barista slut.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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