the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.