oh good, I think they're gone
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last