Rock
Scissors
Fuck
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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