Texts From Last Night

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  (805): View more from California

  My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.

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  (805): My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping. http://tfl.nu/dvm6
  Replies (10) Good night (913) Bad night (1046)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?

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  (319): Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota? http://tfl.nu/4k6s
  Replies (48) Good night (1258) Bad night (3502)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain

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  (905): heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain http://tfl.nu/cvqd
  Replies (24) Good night (1252) Bad night (3669)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore

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  (502): I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore http://tfl.nu/n25p
  Replies (37) Good night (6774) Bad night (1482)
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  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.

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  (709): It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me. http://tfl.nu/jsip
  Replies (11) Good night (931) Bad night (2877)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  they won't let me drive with my sombrero

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  (757): they won't let me drive with my sombrero http://tfl.nu/1zde
  Replies (9) Good night (3035) Bad night (1074)
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  (619): View more from California

  I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.

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  (619): I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings. http://tfl.nu/ebym
  Replies (13) Good night (1908) Bad night (656)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.

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  (801): Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success. http://tfl.nu/ql3l
  Replies (6) Good night (671) Bad night (419)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover

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  (602): Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover http://tfl.nu/gmcv
  Replies (0) Good night (418) Bad night (299)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes

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  (614): hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes http://tfl.nu/9g7z
  Replies (0) Good night (326) Bad night (545)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.

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  (804): my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important. http://tfl.nu/uv51
  Replies (3) Good night (532) Bad night (282)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.

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  (615): fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize. http://tfl.nu/qrsa
  Replies (2) Good night (319) Bad night (340)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.

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  (920): This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low. http://tfl.nu/h0px
  Replies (5) Good night (612) Bad night (298)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS

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  (318): FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS http://tfl.nu/3z8m
  Replies (1) Good night (543) Bad night (223)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.

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  (603): The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open. http://tfl.nu/aj17
  Replies (1) Good night (396) Bad night (207)

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