yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
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so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
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I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.