I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
