I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
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I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
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Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.