its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
even my farts smell like vagina
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
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Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
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But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.