peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
