ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
