Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
