This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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