you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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