rhymes with "ouble enetration"
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
