my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
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