Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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