The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
