got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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