im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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