One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
