I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
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