i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
