I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
