All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
