So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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