It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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