Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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