I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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