Define "chronic" masturbator.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
