There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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