I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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