So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
