Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
