Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
