Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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