I need help removing her.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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