Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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