I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
