Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
