so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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