In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
