shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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