I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
